This is my entry for the Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge: Jubilant
I’m not the most exuberant person (and anyone who knows me will have no argument with that!) and indeed I lack self confidence in many ways that inhibits me from outwardly expressing myself fully and hiding behind my camera has become a godsend in some of these situations. Other than ‘losing the rag’ at a bad umpiring decision whilst at the side of the hockey pitch or having tears running down my face when I witness first hand the suffering of some of the dogs arriving in at the shelter, I tend to feel more than I show. That being said, I do not feel nearly so much as I used to…
Since a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis about 10 years ago, I take various medications one of which helps to keep my stress levels down and depression (which I experienced in the first two years of my illness) at bay. The down side – although at times it is incredibly useful – is that I have become a rather unemotional person. Nevertheless, that is how I am now and because of the benefits, I have no desire to change. On an intellectual level I know that there are times when it would be helpful to others if I were more emotional and felt more, however, thanks to the meds – I don’t let it bother me too much! It seems to me that I have become a more selfish person, perhaps that is what is needed when living with a chronic illness and I think of it as a price worth paying. However, no matter how my behaviour is interpreted I also know that in many ways I am also a selfless person and I now, I live with the benefit of being able to chose whether to be selfish or selfless.
So, whilst it seems that I have digressed from the subject of this post is “Jubilant” what I am actually saying is that being jubilant or showing jubilation is not something that I often show outwardly. Nevertheless, as I said in my previous post, it really doesn’t take much to please me. They tend to be simple things such as finding a forever home for a dog, watching my boys have a good game (they play field hockey) or taking that photo that captures exactly what I want – whether it be a beautiful view or the character of a dog.
Whilst most people would look at me and assume that there is nothing wrong with me, as anyone with a chronic illness knows, things are rarely as they seem. I used to really enjoy skiing, however, a couple of years after my diagnosis I hung up the ski boots for the last time and swapped them for a camera. Having 3 boys who were all keen skiers, I either joined them where I could on the slopes with my camera or stayed at home. This year, my middle boy Mark, has been studying at the University of Calgary so we joined him at half term break up in Whistler for a ski holiday. Have to say, compared to some of the European ski destinations access to many parts of the slopes are not easily accessible to non-skiers. In order to get to where I could take an action photo was a bit of a struggle. Trudging through snow especially up hill was a personal Everest for me to be honest and I had to think very carefully before going down hill as each step down equated to maybe ten steps up – and especially at high altitude this hurt. So, I had to compromise in my position. Yes I wanted to be below the action to have a clear sky background and increase the height perspective but thanks at least to having a decent lens I shuffled down into a safe place and sat in the cold snow, contented myself and did the best I could. I managed to photograph a number of boarders and skiers attempting and succeeding with various tricks and jumps which gave me that “yes!” feeling when I looked at them later. However, this boy who was simply wanting to “get air” celebrated mid air and was clearly happy with his efforts.
My own “yes” feeling from the few times I sat patiently trying to capture that moment came with these photos…
Ok so I would have preferred a blue sky background but for them but for me it was capturing them right at the top of their jump through thick heavy snow (for two of the shots at least) at a distance of maybe 50 yards, camera covered with a towel and me shaking with cold that pleased me. Usually I was putting my time in waiting to have lunch with the others between their ski runs. As I struggled back up to the meeting point zigzagging to reduce the incline and one step at a time I saw my husband looking over the balcony – he captured this of me, yes I’m smiling but oh boy my legs were complaining terribly!
So, that is my entry for ‘jubilant’. Yet again after intending to enter only one photo, I have included a few more besides and extended into a bit more of my bio so you all know me that little bit better 😉
Thank you for reading. As ever, I really appreciate feedback and comments jx